In eighth grade, I had an incredibly engaging Spanish teacher who also taught government at the high school level. I know, it's a weird combination, but it was also a very, very small school. She inspired me in many ways, but my first and only political campaign involvement started with her and has stayed with me for decades.
Bill Rush was running for a local judicial office in my hometown. He was a nice enough man to my fourteen-year-old way of thinking, but I knew Mrs. Brockman respected him and that was enough for me. So, I donned the kelly green campaign t-shirt (amazing what I remember, right?) and rode on a converted hay wagon through town during a parade and fully supported him. A few days before the election, Rush's opponent released something to the paper and today I can't remember what it was. I remember knowing it wasn't true and yet there wasn't time to respond effectively so Mr. Rush lost that campaign. That was my induction into politics. And they wonder why I am a cynic, at heart.
At my family's dinner table, (yes, all five of us sat down to dinner around 6:30, said a prayer, ate then we talked) we talked about the days events, what was on our minds and the current events of that time. My brother who was four years older than me devoured newspapers and magazines like they were food for his mind...it was amazing the information he gained. My parents were both conservatives and while they didn't force those views upon us, they are what we absorbed.
Unlike most teenagers and college students, I did not renounce my parents' views when faced with my mainly liberal professors, classmates and college staff. Instead, I joined the young Republicans while at the same time working with the residence life and, in particular, students new to the coming out process. MSU was my first true experience in walking the line between taking care of people and my beliefs that people should be able to take care of themselves.
And yet, I have since discovered those are not necessarily competing principles.
While I was not out in college, after moving to Washington DC, I came out to myself followed by my family, friends and ever since, anyone who cared to know. I don't hide who I am, who I love or what I believe in, no matter what the company. As you might imagine, in the years since moving here, I have built a rather wide reaching net of lesbian, straight, conservative and/or liberal friends through my various personal and professional relationships. To a number, I can say that my lesbian friends are liberals and have no problem sharing their views and trying to get me to agree with them.
I will admit to avoiding the subject of politics in my gay circles despite the fact that I have a Masters in Political Management and work in a highly political field. The fact was, I knew I wasn't changing any minds and there comes a point where being the "only one" in the room starts to feel very lonely. It was, however, right after the 2008 presidential election that all of this changed. It was a friends forty-something birthday and we gathered at their house to celebrate it properly. As we all sat down to a board game, all eyes turned to me as if perfectly orchestrated and I was asked: "As part of the 48% who didn't vote for Barack Obama, do you feel like he had a landslide victory?"
Well, nothing like being called out on the mat, eh?
I currently work in a bi-partisan office that caters to the ultra-liberal as well as the ultra-conservative (picture from a group like Citizens United all the way to SEIU, yep, you have to know your audience before you start discussing politics) so I can't say that a lot of political talk circulated around my office. But, outside of that space, I talked to one friend after another about how unqualified I felt Obama was for the job of POTUS. I'd studied his record in Illinois and the U.S. Senate and I knew how left he was. I heard his rhetoric on the gay issues of the day and yet I knew that was just what it was, rhetoric.
I knew he was black and yet, that didn't matter to me. Don't get me wrong, I am among the millions of conservatives who dislike John McCain to my very core, but when the choice is between qualified and unqualified, I'm certainly not betting on Obama's credentials no matter how pretty he speaks. For those who know me, yes, there was an Obama sign in my front yard and yes, one of the cars residing at my home had the O logo on it. I am after all thoroughly tied to a black woman and we've determined that we do not have to agree to love each other. That's a relief.
I wish I could remember how I answered that question, but I remember the feeling at that moment of realizing I can be gay and I can still support conservative principles and just because I am gay does not mean I have to support the leader who has been deemed the savior of everyone who is gay. The fact is, the Republican party is no longer the party of conservatives. It has adopted the brand (whether by choice or mere acceptance) of the Christian Right. I submit this isn't my party. I am a conservative and believe strongly in a small centralized government, states rights, strong fiscal policy, the ability of neighbors to help each other and teaching people how to help themselves instead of teaching them to reach out and depend on help indefinitely.
Barack Obama has made some steps, I won't deny that. He has at least approached the idea of getting rid of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" although it isn't gone yet, people. And as of today, he's deemed that hospitals accepting federal reimbursement have to allow gay partners to visit their significant others and make decisions for them, if need be. Again, just because he's said it doesn't mean it's true. And I submit, if you and your partner have the legal paperwork, the hospital, no matter what it's leanings, has to respect it. IF you don't have that paperwork or anything proving who you are to the patient, it doesn't matter what the Health and Human Services Secretary says should be true, the hospital can and will deny admittance. The fact is, if you are not prepared to take care of yourself and/or your partner in a time of need, do not expect someone else, let alone a government agency, do it for you.
I firmly believe that the Left will pander to the gay community as long as it needs its vote. I have also watched more than one state, including my home state of Michigan and my current home in Virginia, pass DOMA-like laws with fully bi-partisan support. Gay marriage and gay rights are not a Left or Right issue and party affiliation should not be the indicator of an ally. The fact is, until each state and, ultimately, the country decides it is not for government to decide who is and who is not worthy of the full rights of U.S. citizenship, gay marriage and the full rights of gay couples in this country will not be a reality.
We have to stop this move to a nanny state and return us to the days when those in a weak spot turned to their neighbors and not their government. And yes, we have to understand as individuals that we are expected to help our neighbors in our strong times with the understanding that one day we may be in need of some aide. And yes, risk comes with failure, not a safety net. I believe that we have to move back to the politics of local and restore the strength of the smallest unit, individuals and the family.
I very much look forward to growing my own family, currently two women in their thirties and our middle-aged pit bull dogs, and our journey of growth, strength and freedom. We may not agree politically, but we believe in ourselves and our abilities and that is a good start.
